The honeymoon is over…. now back “home” to Kuala Lumpur.

Photobooth fun at the Brix’s Wedding!

The definition of an Expatriate (expat) is basically a citizen leaving his or her own home country to live and to work within another for a specific amount of time (typically 6 months to 5 years or more).  As expats, we recently returned “home” to KL from our first official trip back to the United States after living in Malaysia for the past 6 months and the honeymoon, as they say, is officially over.

My husband’s company (who took us to Malaysia) gave us a wonderful gift of being able to return to the USA to see our families & friends once a year. Our 1^st trip back happened sooner than we would have originally gone due to a wedding I was a bridesmaid in, which was in process long before we even left the states.  So our first trip took us to Indianapolis, IN as well as to Seattle, WA (with a quick 36 hours in Denver, CO for David).

Due to some important work functions & meetings my husband had in Indianapolis we decided to roll that into our “Seattle wedding” trip. Since we moved to KL from “Indy”, it was also important to me that I join him on that leg of the journey so that we could both see some incredibly close & dear friends who live there and some who recently had baby girls! After spending a week with them, I jetted off to Seattle for a week of “pre-wedding” errands & festivities I needed & wanted to help my besty (bride-to-be) with before her big day on September 2^nd. David had to stay in Indy for 1 more week for work while I was in Seattle and en-route stopped off in Denver, CO to visit his brother & family (and was able to enjoy some great time with them!) before joining me the weekend of the wedding. After that, we stayed on in Seattle for another week to spend time with my family, before heading back “home” to Kuala Lumpur.

We had an absolute blast with our Indy friends, Denver family, and Seattle friends & family. I am so thankful that we were able to spend 3 whole weeks back in the states but wow; it still was nowhere near enough time to fit everything and everyone in. From baby dates to dinners with friends, shopping for items we can’t find in KL, weddings & family BBQ’s, our time literally flew by in the blink of an eye!

It’s very hard to describe the emotional and physical feelings of leaving everything comfortable and familiar in your life in order to experience an “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity (or several if your lucky!) in a whole new country, and halfway around the world no less. There is no amount of preparation or training that anyone (or books or the internet) could have given us to prepare us for the onslaught of emotions that we experienced in our first return trip to the states. Over the past 3 weeks I shed an enormous amount of tears (more than I would care to admit to), laughed until my stomach literally hurt, & gave into frustrations of coming to terms with the vastly different cultures & living conditions of living overseas. I can honestly say now that this “expat” thing is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life, to date. Studying & traveling abroad in college while in Seville, Spain was nothing compared to this!

Seriously no joke- the first time we got in the rental car after landing in Indianapolis was sensory overload. The steering wheel was back on the left side of the car, and driving was back to the right side of the road (both completely opposite from driving in Malaysia). Both of us kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of the turn signals and suffered mini-heart attacks every once in a while about what our “right-of-way” was & what side of the street we were supposed to be on- hahaha! Oh and the shopping….I was so darn excited for my first trip back to Target but what I wasn’t prepared for were the free-flowing tears that accompanied that trip. Yup, I was that person. It was just so easy to drive there, so easy to park, so easy to get in, find stuff, and get out of the store…all of it was just overwhelming. I know this sounds so ridiculous- I mean really, crying over Target? (hey- don’t judge until you’ve walked in the “expat” shoes!) And it wasn’t just Target, it was everything I had taken for granted all my life coming back to me- the wide lanes and huge parking lots, big cars & houses, getting gas, grocery shopping, mall excursions, gorging on mexican food & sipping on IPA beer…..everything I knew and loved was back and within reach for 3 whole weeks for me to indulge in. Oh, and the icing on the cake? The ability to “swing by” to see our family and friends and to call them at any hour of the day since we were all on the same time zone again. Think about it- about half of the day in Malaysia I cannot speak to anyone back home due to the 12hr (EST) & 15 hr (PST) time difference. Talk about feeling a world away.

But I don’t mean to complain too much…. we CHOSE this change in lifestyle. We could have said no- that would have been easy. We would have gone on to live our lives in Indy or wherever life took us in the states, but instead we decided to make a jump into the unknown and to challenge ourselves individually, our career paths, our marriage, and (God willing) a future family. And you know what? I have no regrets and I wouldn’t trade this (ongoing experience) for anything in the world as we are having the time of our lives! Sometimes I have to pinch myself about how fortunate I am to experience living in SE Asia for a season of life.

Dear readers & fellow expats, what I want to prepare you for is this:

We didn’t realize was how difficult it would be to return home to the states, even just for a visit. Its exhausting to spend & to share your limited amount of time with all your family and friends, some of whom you will realize take a great interest & understanding in your experience, but some of whom may not, disappointing you. It was a humbling experience to have so many loved ones support our choice of a different course in life, yet at times it was disheartening in cases where some just didn’t care to. On the flip side, be prepared to also experience some backlash of returning to your “overseas” home. What a shock to the system it was! In my first few days back home in KL, I really had to take extra caution on the roads, patience with running errands, remembering the safety rules, banking & currency, language, etc. It’s like experiencing a little mind-lapse in what your real life currently looks like and how to get back into the swing of things as seamlessly as possible! That being said, returning “home” to KL also made me realize just how much I love living here and how thankful I am to be able to experience such an awesome gift. I mean really, when would you ever be able to say (as an American), that you are “just going to head over to Thailand for the weekend”?!?! Simply awesome.

The lesson learned here is that returning to your home country is not without its own set of challenges. The obvious stuff is the familiarity of driving, shopping, eating, having yourself being pulled in a million different directions…. all of which can & most likely will, completely wipe you out. The not so obvious will be this: some people will be excited & understanding because they’ve done it themselves, some will be critical because they fear to change their “norm”, some people will be so amazingly supportive because they just want the best for you, and a select few may be admittedly envious of your courage to step outside of your comfort zone . I’m not trying to paint a negative picture here, rather I am trying to convey the wildly different emotions that will most likely run through your system, and that of your loved ones you left behind in the states. A good way to look at your return trip to the states is like this: think of yourselves as “ambassadors to expat life”. There are very few people who will ever receive the gift of living overseas. Try and remember that as you answer questions and explain what life is like in Malaysia.

All this being said, my husband and I both agree that the single most surprising feeling we had was that at the end of our hectic trip, our “home” is now in Malaysia. All we could think about was how shocking but yet warming it was that we used the word “home” in conjunction with Malaysia. In retrospect, I can see for myself and I can also see how others back in the states would have difficulty with the whole thing.  Expat life is so rewarding in so many ways & as much as you put into it, you will receive in a gift that is priceless, tenfold. The fun part of the expat life is seeing how the return to your home country unfolds because for us, ours surprised us more than we expected it to…. both the good and the bad. All this being said, we can’t wait for what God has in store for us as we continue to live in Malaysia as well as for the next time we return to the states to see our beloved family and friends.

Until next time, safe & fun travels!

Kimbra

PS- Check out some fun pics of our first stateside trip as expats:

“Uncle” David meeting little miss Annelise for the first time….and enjoying an IPA!

Dinner out with our dear friends Drew & Kirsten

Brunch with Liz & Steve

Hanging out with Erin & Natalie….at least Natalie is looking at the camera:)

My dear book club…oh how I miss you ladies!!

Lunch with the Hampton family…including the newest- miss Harper!

Uncle David and the boys in Denver!

ice cream break with my nieces Ellie & Abbie!

IPA Beers with my oldest & dearest friend Anne

Boating on Lake Union….with an awesome view of the Seattle Skyline

Boating on Lake Washington…with the ever brilliant Mt. Rainier view!

Drinks with the newly married Anne & Sean!

Saturday Soccer day with the family for Ellie & Abbie!

And lets not forget the absolutely beautiful and downright awesome wedding of Anne & Sean!!

David, myself, and my parents at the reception

The gorgeous bride as she walks down the isle!

Wedding “reunion” with the girls of WHS 🙂

Me and my handsome date at the wedding- we even match!

Um….and they had a photo booth at the reception….too much fun!!