Expat Life Update: 2 Year Anniversary in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!!

Celebrating Chinese New Year in Koh Samui, Thailand

Happy 2 year Living-in-KL Anniversary to the International Nabers!! 😉

I honestly cannot believe 2 years have passed since making the trek across the world to make our home in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Time sure does fly by in the blink of an eye, as they say. Whatever thoughts I had about my adult life as I was growing up, I never in a million years would have envisioned this. That being said, I’m eternally grateful for this amazing opportunity to live in KL for a season of life. We arrived in KL on April 5th 2012 and that first year literally flew by as we tried to acclimate to our new home, explore, adjust, and more. You can read all about our first year in KL here.

This past year, our 2nd year in SE Asia, was without a doubt the most memorable to date! In the past 12 months alone, we flew to the USA for multiple baby showers & a wedding, we jetted off to Ho Chi Minh & Nha Trang, Vietnam for our babymoon, we had a pig roast with friends, we welcomed my parents back to KL for their 2nd trip here to help with the upcoming arrival of our first baby, we had a baby (!!!!!!!), we went through the process of making our baby a US Citizen, we flew with Ava to Hong Kong and met up with an old college friend, then on to the USA (Seattle, Phoenix, and Indianapolis) again with a 12 week old baby, we took a quick weekend break in Pnom Phen, Cambodia, we had a very scary accident with our girl, we welcomed David’s parents here for Christmas 2013 & baptized our baby, we relaxed in Koh Samui, Thailand, we hosted our friends from Hong Kong in KL for a weekend and overnight trip to Malacca, we welcomed my parents back again for their 3rd time to KL, we indulged in some R&R beach time in Boracay, Philippines, we attended a wedding like none other in Manila, Philippines, and we took a much needed “unplugging from life” RV trip throughout New Zealand. All this is on top of our daily lives in KL with friends & as a family. Are you as tired as I am yet?! LOL….and as you can see from a lack of links, I still have quite a bit to blog about!!

All that being said, our 2nd year as expats in KL were all about making it our home. That first year here, I worked hard at finding my way around town, figuring out where and how to purchase necessities, planning travel getaways, and getting out and meeting people. All of that (and more) finally started to click a bit more and fall into place. I had hit a groove with our daily life and I felt a good idea of where to go when I needed to find something, or someone. Having a baby helped tremendously as well! I would research stores that I needed to find or doctor offices I needed to go to as well as playgroups to join in on, and inevitably I would figure out yet another “gem” of a store or shortcut around town. Most importantly, having a baby also opened up new friendships and blossomed existing ones. I was lucky enough to be pregnant at the same time as 4 girlfriends and through them, through happenstance, and with other friends of mine, have been lucky enough to expand my group of mommy friends which makes being in the trenches together to much easier! I also both cemented my adoration of, and found new, both services and shops around town, which lets be honest, as females, makes us feel that much more at home- hehe. ;). It was all just slowly but surely feeling more and more like home. 

I also had high expectations of taking a more active role in our social lives in 3 different ways: I wanted to start a book club, I wanted to get more involved in a women’s bible study via my church, and I wanted to start some sort of mom’s group since I had met so many women with new babies. Amazingly enough, I have accomplished all of that (with help from some amazingly gifted & dedicated friends!), not an easy feet! These 3 social activities on my calendar have enriched my life here in KL so much & I’m grateful for the courage & strength to get it started and the endurance to keep them going. I look at them as legacies I will leave behind here in KL that I hope will continue to thrive in my absence, as well as give me courage to join and/or start new ones wherever I go next.

But really, 2 years have passed? Already? I must say, I had mixed expectations about this past year. I had heard so many stories about “life after your 1st year as expats” so in all honesty, I thought it would be a bit different than it turned out to be. But then again, everyone’s experiences are different right? Thats part of the glory of being human, we are all unique in our own way. I wouldn’t say that I was let-down per say, but I will say that I have had much more heartache and stress about day to day living than I thought I would have, having already been here 1 year. That being said, I don’t want that to take away from all the highs that we have had this past year, and we’ve had some amazing ones!

I think the biggest surprise both David and I had was the sharpness of our daily highs & lows. I just can’t figure out how to accept the negatives about living in Malaysia. I thought with time they would become less harsh but instead they are getting more and more glaring to me. Does that mean its time to move on? Or does that mean more deep breathes and taking up yoga full time?! I’m trying my hardest to go with the flow but instead of the negatives of living in this country getting less and less, they seem to instead be getting more and more glaring.

If someone were to take my blood pressure after driving in the car here, they would think I would be at a severe risk of heart failure….I’m not kidding at all. Every time I get in the car I say a prayer and try my hardest be calm, be safe, and be defensive, especially now with a little one in the backseat. It’s like a freaking free for all on the streets here with mad traffic like no other, constant construction, and crazy on-a-death-wish motorcyclists. If I see another motorbike cut me off just one more time or swerve in and out of the lanes 4 deep, I swear I’m gonna lose my mind. Couple the free-for-all mentality of the streets with the crazy amounts of road and MRT construction and well, with ZERO caution (all of the sudden its like BAM, lane closed), its a wonder there are not more deaths on the roads of this country. The lack of police enforcement doesn’t help matters either. Double or triple parked? No problem. Wrong way on a one-way street? Sure thing. Straddling the lane just because? For sure. U-Turn on the highway? Why not!. UGH!!!!!! 12345678910, 10987654321. Ahhhh…..breath in , breathe out. And don’t EVEN get me started on all the babies that I see sitting and standing in the front seats of the cars of locals, in the FRONT SEAT PEOPLE. WHAT IS THAT?!?!?!?!

But beyond the road rage issue, I’m surprised I haven’t gotten better at dealing with the lack of customer service and civility here. Sure, when we are with our friends we can laugh about our respective stories over a BOTTLE of wine, but deep down it drives me mad. The people that crowd in front of an elevator waiting to get in so you can’t get out, the ones that touch your baby on the face, hands, etc (gross), the complete lack of a “fix it” mentality when it comes to bill discrepancies, food orders, A/C issues (in this heat, ugh), the grocery stores always being out of stock on the simplest of products….seriously, I can’t remember the last time I was at the grocery store and was able to get everything on my list for a recipe. Its a complete joke trying to figure out the import schedule and what will be left on the shelves when you arrive. And don’t even get me started on the “weird” lack of communication from the Malaysian government on this MH370 flight.  All of it grates on my western nerves. But putting all that aside, it really is amazing to live out here for a season of life. Seriously I know that sounds crazy after the rant I just and, but the positives really do cancel out the negatives….most of the time ;). 

There are just so many positives of living here- the central location within the region for travel, the amazing friends and networks of people from around the world to meet within the expat community, the ability to stay at home with my baby & explore my writing capabilities, the option of having part time (what we have) or live-in maid/nanny at minimal costs, the variety of cuisine, the excitement of various cultures celebrating their respective holidays, and on and on. I’ve also realized that SE Asia is seriously the best place to have a baby. It’s such a baby centered culture out here & everyone is SO NICE, and so accommodating and truly they all just adore children so much, I just love it and will one day miss all the smothering we get when we are out and about- LOL. They truly believe “children are our future” (sing along with me). I try hard every single day to remember all these amazing qualities Malaysia has and try to forget about the negatives.

It’s also been quite the eye opener to realize the relationship changes with friends and family from back home, both the good and the bad. I think the honeymoon, as they say, is officially over. It’s just so hard….we are 15 hrs ahead of PST and 12 hrs ahead of EST. Thats a BIG difference. Basically it means there is a very small window of when I can chat with folks from back home every day. FaceTime & Skype help tremendously and with Ava & I’m just so grateful for it so she can see her family and friends from back home. If I’m being honest though, I go through days where I find it hard to connect….after the “how’s the weather” comments sometimes it feels like we really don’t have much in common right now, and I’m not pointing blame at me or them. It’s just a fact of life and where our respective paths are right now. Sure we can catch up about life and talk about the little ones and such, but can anyone from back home relate to my daily struggles and can I relate to theirs? I know that my life looks so exciting & easy: staying at home, leading an expat life & experiencing all the differences from back home, the glamorous world of travel, which IS great, but its not always great and its definitely not easy or glamorous either! In addition to that, it seems like my only free time is when everyone is asleep in the middle of my afternoon! Ugh, so you see my quandary? I just love every second on the phone that I get with them all, however many days, weeks, or months in between our conversations are. It’s a tough & delicate balance, one I am trying to proactively manage and be much better at. It’s my single most important goal of 2014, to feel more connected with my family & friends from home.

Family……the most amazing thing has happened though in the past year here in KL: we have made the most awesome friends and they have become our family here. Through the highs and the lows, we experience it all together and are always able to cheer one another up, encourage one another, and help one another out. And let me tell you, when you are 5 million miles away form your support group, making a new one here is priceless and worth its weight in gold!! The hardest part about making such close-knit friends here though is that with expat life comes the constant change. One day we will all move away….to various other places around the globe, to be either expats again in another country or to become citizens of our home country once again. It’s the beauty and the heartache of it all isn’t it? We will have friends in every corner of this magnificent world, but we will miss them so much when the day comes to say goodbye. But I can’t think about that right now….I’m just gonna tuck that thought into the back of my mind until I have to deal with it.

We don’t know what the future will bring and we definitely don’t know how much longer we will be living here in KL. Could be 1 more year, could be 4 more years, could be 10 more years…..so we try and take full advantage of our situation and scout out good travel deals, take opportunities when they arise, rarely say no to invitations from others, and enjoy the house help and cheap services while we have them cause one day it will all change and we want to be able to say when its our time to go, “we are ready, we’ve done it all” and leave nothing in regret. Thats our family goal.

Anyway, a rambling mess I am right now…..call it mommy brain if you will…..but thank you for indulging me and for being patient with me as I struggle to keep up with my blog these days. One day I will “get it” and work out a schedule that works….one day….right my experienced mamas?! LOL.

Until next time, please enjoy a little trip down memory lane with just some of pictures taken of the past year here in KL~

Kimbra

Baby Shower #1 in Indianapolis with my awesome friend & hostess Kirsten!

Baby shower #2 in Phoenix with family hosted by my amazing & loving sister Genea!

Baby shower #3 in San Diego with great old friends hosted my my lovely BFF Anne!

Wedding fun in SoCal!

Mock-tails overlooking Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Learning to cook vietnamese in Nha Trang, Vietnam

Baby shower #4 in KL with an amazing group of friends!

Pig Roast!

My pregnancy photos from Chloe Lodge made the cover of Bonda magazine!

Another great moment captured by Chloe Lodge!

Our little angel Ava Dawn born July 16, 2013 at 3:50am in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Thank you Chloe Lodge!

Gma & Gpa with their 8th grand-baby!

Ava is officially a US Citizen!

Getting ready to take off on our first flight as a family of 3!

Holy moly thats a LOT of bags!!

Hong Kong with Rayna!

4 generations of women in Seattle, such a special moment!

An awesome family pic of all the Nabers in Phoenix!

Grandpa D with his newest girl in Phoenix

Mommys night out with Kirsten in Indy!

Tuk-tuk ride with Polo in Phnom Penh, Cambodia

A terrifying accident with our girl ended up with a Christmas blessing!

Baptism day! What a beautiful ceremony.

Christmas silliness with Grandma and Papa!

Chillin’ at the beach, gumbo style, in Koh Samui

Market fun with Rayna in Malaysia!

Morning coffee stroll in gorgeous Boracay, Philippines

Wedding date in Manila!

Farewell drinks at the Helipad with Gma & Gpa!

What a fun month in Asia with Gma & Gpa!

Wine Tasting in Marlborough, New Zealand.